Shopping for a funeral?

HopeLyndseyPlumb .
Jul 19, 2017
2 min read

(This was written the day before mum's funeral)

Before I start let me make this small disclaimer - I am aware that clothes are the least important part of today. I do know that. However, it's been an "interesting" task so I thought I bring you with me.

I found myself in this weird position of shopping for outfits for my mother's funeral. Shopping is usually so much fun but this really isn't... As if having to pick out your own outfit isn't hard enough (that's too tight, that's too short, that's a bit too black, that's too boring) - add to that having to find something suitable for your children to wear. Dave had offered to go & find something if it was too difficult for me, but I wanted to do this. Part of the closure process, I guess. Also it's one of the few things that I can actually control. What clothes do we want to wear to say goodbye to my dear mum? I love the idea of wearing colour to a funeral because you are celebrating a life well lived but my mum was of the generation that always wore black and so I want to be respectful of that. However my kids have never, ever worn all black. I want them to look like themselves. Looking around Next - too much glitter, too bright, too many flowers, too pink, too casual, too sparkly.

Similarly, tonight I'll be taking off my bright pink nail varnish & putting on something a little more muted. But then Do I go for a fro or pull my hair back off my face? Dangly earrings or studs? My standard bright red lip or something more natural?

Why am I hemming myself in with these invisible, unspoken perimeters? It's my mum, they're my kids.

Maybe it's expectation/fear of judgement? As much as I don't usually care what others think, this is different. We will all be very much on show & there is a slight niggle in the back of my head, a fear of what others are going to think. On Monday I had to take Archie to have his hair cut. He badly needed it, it was well overdue. Imagine trying to explain to the hairdresser that you want him to look smart but still "cool" and still like a cheeky, five year old boy? What I needed to say was... "Pls can you cut my son's hair so that he looks decent for my mum's funeral?" I couldn't bring myself to say that. #obvs Urgh! There's a small chance that I may have overthought this whole thing 😊. Mum, you always had VERY strong opinions on what I wore... So I've done my best, I hope you like it. I think you will!

Ps - I didn't take off my fuchsia pink nail polish. Mum always loved doing her nails (maybe in more muted colours than this, but still...) so, I'm keeping it.